Friday, August 29, 2014

Bacon and Habanero Infused Vodka

Bacon and Habanero Infused Vodka
Adapted from Croce’s Restaurant & Jazz Bar.
6 strips of bacon
3 habanero chili peppers
2 serano chile peppers
1 liter good quality vodka (this is not exact)
Bacon and Peppers
Add strips of bacon to a dry, cold, large skillet.  Warm the skillet over low heat.  Cook bacon until crispy, flipping the bacon several times throughout the process.  Transfer cooked bacon to a paper towel lined plate and set aside to cool.
Remove the stems from each chili pepper and slice in half lengthwise.  Add peppers (with seeds) to a large, airtight jar.  Once cooled, add bacon to the same jar.  Fill the jar with vodka to cover the bacon and peppers.  Seal the jar and let steep for 7 days in the refrigerator.*
After 7 days, strain the vodka through a cheese cloth lined fine mesh basket strainer into a clean jar or bottle.  If you see any major particles floating in the vodka, strain a second time.  Discard the bacon and peppers.  Store in the refrigerator.
Makes 1 liter.
*  Letting the vodka steep with the chili peppers for 7 days will result in an extremely spicy infusion.  If you have a low heat tolerance, I would recommend steeping for a shorter period of time.  You can start tasting half way through and strain the infusion once you reach your desired heat level.  Keep in mind that this vodka will be used in a bloody mary.  You want it to be overly spicy because the tomato juice will turn down the heat level a bit.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Go Ahead, Try A Redhead....

Go Ahead, Try A Redhead....


I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife
The clerk was putting the finishing touches on my bouquet order
A young man burst through the door
He breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses
"I'm sorry," the clerk said
"This man just ordered our last bunch"
The desperate customer turned to me and begged
"May I please have those roses?"
"What happened?" I asked
"Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"
"It's even worse than that," he confided
"My wife's a redhead and I broke her hard drive!"

She Can't Sign On To The Internet!

The Confused RedHead

The Confused RedHead

Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope

Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months
The box said "2 to 4 years"

Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out

When asked what the capital of California was She answered "C"

Baked a turkey for 3 days
Because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125

Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets

Got hurt while raking leaves
She fell out of the tree

Hated M & Ms because they were so hard to peel

Changed the baby's diaper only once a month
Because the label read
Up to 20 pounds

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Confused RedHead


The Confused RedHead



Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope

Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months
The box said "2 to 4 years"

Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out

When asked what the capital of California was She answered "C"

Baked a turkey for 3 days
Because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125

Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets

Got hurt while raking leaves
She fell out of the tree

Hated M & Ms because they were so hard to peel

Changed the baby's diaper only once a month
Because the label read
Up to 20 pounds

And The Redhead Said...

And The Redhead Said...


Q. What's safer, a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
A. She unties you

Never Question A Redhead

Never Question A Redhead 



Q. How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A. Say something

Q. How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
A. Wait 10 seconds



Q. If you love a Redhead, set her free
A. If she follows you everywhere you go
Pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital
She's yours



Q. What's safer, a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
A. She unties you



Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy
One is to let her think she is having her own way
The other is to let her have it

Tell It To A Redhead If You Dare...

Tell It To A Redhead If You Dare...

The difference between a redhead and a blonde:
A redhead is a blonde from hell.

The difference betweena blonde and a redhead:
A blonde is a redhead with all the fire burned out of her.
 

Redheads are just blondes with high blood pressure

How can you tell if a redhead has been using your computer?
By the hammer embedded in the monitor.

What's a redhead's idea of the shortest way to a man's heart?
Through the breastbone.

You know what a red head is, right?


Do you know why Blondes have more fun?   
Because there is not enough Red Heads around. 

How do you start an argument with a redhead?
Say something.


A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were
watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.

The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead
replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde
gave the redhead the $50.

The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend".

The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet".

So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock
news, so I can't take your money".

"Well, so did I", said the blonde, "but I never thought he'd jump again!"